January 24, 2004

have rv will travel

Kathy and I are driving cross country in an RV. She'd driving, sitting on my lap. I remark that it's a lot more fun to drive like this, because I can make faces at the drivers that she's pissing off.

She's driving like a crazy-woman.

We take a Jersey-style loop exit, where your vehicle is at 45 degree angle while you go around loop, and cut off another RV wile we're doing it... it's not really our fault, they're being ambivalent about whether they're taking the exit, continuing on the highway, or on the shoulder.

I think the driver makes a mean face at me, and think about it.

Unremembered transition.

Kathy and I have left the RV on the shoulder, and we're walking Yoshi by the side of the road. Kathy has trained him with a new command, where she sweeps her arms like a baseball umpire and yells "SAFE," to which Yoshi will curl up in a little ball on the side of the road, like he's sleeping. Even though she's doing this to get him off the road when cars go by, it makes me nervous.

And that RV that we cut off is behind us.

Impossibly, we keep ahead of the RV for miles, somehow each yelling of the word "SAFE" propels us forward, leaving our pursuers in the dust. We duck into a multi-story concrete parking lot.

In here, the jig is up. The pursuing RV pulls behind us with screech.

A man jumps out, he has a chalky white dot on his forehead, but other otherwise looks like a normal, if irate, skinny white guy on an RV vacation.

"If I get one more bonk on the head from my mirror I'm gonna kill someone!" he yells, with great frustration. "Does your RV have one of these mirrors that bonks you in the face?"

We talk to him for a while. I'm agitated, because I can't believe all he wanted was this conversation. They begin to start their RV, and I too nervously tell Kat we have to go. We go outside, but they're coming out, I make Kat go back in to the parking lot.

But then they're gone. We go back to the RV.

Kat sits in the RV with her legs spread, and I try to have sex with her. She screams like a little girl and hits me on the head and says "eeeewwww gross! I'm sick, that's gross," etc. and I look up, and the RV is hurtling down the dusky highway, slowly veering towards a lane of oncoming traffic. Very annoying.

"Oh crap, I forgot to stop the RV," I say.

Posted by illovich at January 24, 2004 3:05 PM | TrackBack